You have fought enough for equal opportunity, why not fight for equal respect now?

This is an entry to the KTM blog

“A cold night and ornate streets full of roaming crowd”

It is the specialty of Thamel, a famous place of Kathmandu. Thousands of opportunities lie here and thousands of crimes also takes place here. It has been a boon for some and a nightmare for rest. It takes enough gut to see beyond the curtain in this place. And I saw it; people doing bad deeds deliberately. They are not different in today’s Nepal. Actually, they have greater privilege than a normal Nepali citizen. The “they” that I am referring are the third genders. Some even hesitate to call themselves a gay. I guess I shouldn’t explain what a third-gender means. Having enough privilege, yet they are doing wrong. It was yesterday night when I was returning from Thamel that I saw them openly with short skirt and male voice, puffing the smoke rings and awaiting the prey, in other words, to deceive people for money.

For an instance, if I happen to be that normal person, I would have fallen in their trap and wasted enough money on them. My Mama, also returning from wedding ceremony, told that those third-gendered people, roam around Thamel and catch their prey, followed by looting them by soothing.

A question arose in my mind. “Why do they do this? Can’t they work for living? Is this what their rights have given? Government has provided them an identity and rights”

It was a coincidence that my Mama happened to know one of them due to which I was able to have conversation with them, and I could get my answer.

The very first thing that the third-gendered person asked me was “Will you give me job? If yes, I am ready to give up.” I was speechless when I heard it. It was partially true. She preferred to call her “she”. So, I will quote her as “she”. Further questioning, I came to know that she had tried for jobs after the government gave them rights and quotas in government offices. She told that the placement could raise her financial status but she asked about her respect in society. Would society accept her as others? NO!

I couldn’t answer the question into her face because answering that with optimism would surely lead her to more frustration and more anger towards society. So, I tell it now. Not anything can be changed within a day. Rome was not built in a day. It is true that the society is very traditional and do not accept global changes towards perspectives. But that doesn’t mean that they have to stop seeking for change. Development happens gradually. One must work with optimism to develop; mature the thoughts of people. Moreover, people doesn’t change their perception with a compulsion, rather it changes with the dedication towards them and follow Gandhi’s creed. That is, if anyone slaps you in right cheek, give your left cheek. It will be an enough catalyst for a change; a revolution in orthodox or ill-practiced ‘normal’ mind.

Third-gender people are also humans and they are not different from us. And they also have right to get equal respect in the society as a normal human being has. Finally, I have concluded that they are not following the wrong deed simply because they intend to cheat. It’s true that they have right for opportunity to work with the society, but where are their rights for respect? It cannot be provided by the government. It is only possible with the change in perceptions and thoughts within us regarding their existence, and their god-gifted nature. Not only they are responsible. We, straights, are also responsible for this change. So, Why not let them live the prosperous life of society, honour and dignity, if they deserve it? For third-genders, you have fought enough for equality in opportunity, now why not work for changing the so called normal people’s perceptions towards you and leave the wrong-deeds?

Abruptness to innovation

I could hear the music echoing in the hall, full of juniors and seniors who were anticipating a captivating performance. It was the college welcome and farewell program. I, myself, had a performance. My dance partner, Sagar, and I were full of nervousness, and tension was everywhere. Subash, the program organizer, and whole crew were trying to keep it all on track. Samera, my friend, and other dancers were also preparing for their performance.

Before entering the hall, I said to Sagar, “We’ll rock the stage. Just feel the music and dance.”

“Sujil! The first performer of the day, best of luck!”, Samera said as we entered.

“Thank you, but did you say that my dance is at first?” My nervousness rose as I heard it.

After weeks of practice, we had finally decided to perform a hip hop dance of Jabawookies. We had merged slow motion and popping, but we weren’t confident enough for opening performance.

“Subash! Is my performance at first?” I shouted.

“I am so sorry Sujil, the dancers are refusing to perform at first. Please ‘yar’, friend, don’t say no” he replied.

I was a bit disappointed with that decision, but agreed due to our friendship. 

We climbed the stage, as the program started, and the crowd cheered whole-heartedly. Thanks to the white mask that hid my nervous face. Though, I encouraged Sagar to perform well.

We started to dance, as the music began. First was the MJ’s music and then continued the Jabawookies’s. We didn’t let a single stone unturn till then, with coordination and determination. I realized that dancing on stage was much harder than playing a violin or a pianica. Then individual section started, and my friend performed while I took a break. Meanwhile, I looked at the crowd with some faces disgust with my performance, I guess, which made me black and blue. Sweat was all over my face, since it turned me nervous with their gestures.

 Why can’t they just be content on what they watch? I, foolishly, questioned myself.

Sagar’s performance was about to finish, but then, I forgot the steps. What should I do? Suijl, remember! I tortured my brain.

“Sujil, it’s your turn now” Sagar yelled. No audience heard it due to loud music.

What to do? Moonwalk? No, the carpet won’t let me. Spider? No, not prepared for B-boying. All thoughts came randomly, since I had no time.

Alas! The move from step up movie I did it instantly, but due to loss of balance, it was not as I expected and got deviated to my own moves.

“I have ruined it!” That’s all I said after the performance, but to my surprise, the crowd cheered enthusiastically.

“When did you learn that new move?” Sagar said.

“Just now”

It was totally surprising as I saw it in the video. I finally felt content that my random move entertained the crowd. Subash congratulated me thankfully, since I hit a homerun in first ball. “Great, I enjoyed it.” said the coordinator. Now I realize that had I not danced challenging my nervousness, what would it have been…

Planning the future in future ...

“A tornado has hit into the northern part of USA. Reporters have said that this event is first in the history, since there are no oceans nor abundant water source nearby”

“Another earthquake of 9 rectar scale hit in Japan.”

“The geologists are predicting more on the other parts of world. This is all for today. BBC world service”

Dad came and turned off the television. It is December 2, 2012 today, and the worst premonitions are still to come. My blood will only circulate for 19 days now. I have to do something, as I don’t want to have a cowardice death.  Okay! , I will schedule some works, which I couldn’t do for my life time, due to the society and lack of maturity. Today, I will plan for rest of my life, which is just 19 day.

1.December 3, 2012: In this first day of my expedition, I will go to Pokhara, city of dreams of Nepal, and book a first class room in first class hotel, since I was not wealthy. Probably, this day would end up by just visiting Bat cave and Mahendra cave, since I would e tired after flying to Pokhara from Buddha Air. So, I will wait for the sun to rise.

2.December 4, 2012: I will wake up and watch the rare view of lake, stretching my arms. I would then probably go for a walk. Since my body will have got warm, I will then take a boat and circle the lake for 3 times, as I wished to do it once in life. Then, I will swim in the icy cold water. I would then return to hotel and go for skyflying.

3.December 5, 2012: For this day, I will go for preparation of mustang trip and visit some of the famous temples of pokhara

4. December 6,7,8,9 :In these four days, I will have finished my trip. I, first, intend to go Ghandruk, which is a risky place for trekkers, due to its geography. I  would probably climb a hill for 2 or more hours to see the burning valley, since I won’ be there to see it again, neither will it be. I wished to go to Muktinath temple, so, I will also go there. I will visit Kagbeni, as it is famous for its thrilling wind, which is faster than a bullet maybe? There days will be spent by these volume of trekking since it is hard to walk everywhere. 

5. December 10, 2012: This day will be for the return to Kathmandu walking up to Pokhara and flight to Kathmandu, and I would arrange a trip to Gosainkunda, the famous lake.

6. December 11, 12: I will move from Kathmandu. I have heard it is very dangerous, geographically; even a small improper step can lead to death. I will visit this place, and I wish to wash my face in that pure lake. Then, I will return from this trip.

7. December 13, 14, 15, 16: This will be my longest tour. I will go to the farwestern of my country, Nepal, and eat the true and traditional Thakali food, made in a house with thatched roof, instead in some good smelling restaurants in the city. It will take much days, because I will also visit Dhorpatan hunting reserve, rara lake, and old palaces. On my way, I wish to visit Karnali Zone, the most rural part, but the main purpose will just be to taste the original Thakali food.

8. December 17, 2012: I will return to Kathmandu.

9. December 18, 2012: I will have reached Kathmandu and recovered from hangover.

10. December 19, 2012: Lastly, I wish to do the most mighty thing, i.e. bungi jumping. I will bungi jump, as I wish to feel the life to death, before real death in the 21^st. This will be the last thing I will experience, as I will have spent most of my money.

11. December 20, 2012: Tik tok! I will return to city and wait for the last date.

Fantastic! I have made my schedule. Now, I will get to experience everything in my life. I will spend almost all my wealth in this, since it is of no use after 21^st December. But I still have a doubt.

What if the world doesn’t end in 2012???

(The above essay is hypothetical, and just born due to imagination. It is not a serious issue)

Some facets never change…

The world is in its path, with loads of problems which are out of my imagination. Biotechnology, Nanotechnology, biochemistry, etc. is the most familiar terms to the world. For me, I don’t even know them. I don’t have any external source to study about them, and my teachers won’t be entertained either. So, I decided to search it in Wikipedia. I turned on my computer and waited till the website flashed. Then, I began typing…

“Nanotec” (black screen)

I couldn’t figure out what actually happened, until the outrageous and monotonous sound from the generator came.

(Generator started) ”Yes!! It should have gone a bit earlier. Who told you to use computer as soon as you reach home?” A voice came from my left.

I didn’t even bother to see, because I knew it was my mom, since I had not seen anybody happy when there was loadshedding. I directly answered

“You don’t know what I was doing mom. I was just trying to learn out of course and these rats can’t see me studying”

Yes, I call them rats, the electricity authority of Nepal; it has been 18 years since my birth, but this Nepalese government has not changed. It has been hitting the indigenous people of Nepal continuously with a simple loadshedding problem. It is not a broad issue to the world, but for my country, it is like a pressure. Nepal has great potential of electricity generation potential, but it is still lacking electricity. Why is this? Can anybody answer? In my opinion, the problem is not with the potential but the improper utilization of the resources. In my perspective, the problem is due to unstable government and lack of awareness in people.

Nepal has a very unstable government, which I would like to mark as the primary cause for loadshedding. I, sometimes, assume that the government changes faster than the time I take to change my wardrobe. Many leaders come, but all of them have the different perspective for the problem. If the republic says that loadshedding is bad, then it is assumed by the Congress leaders of Nepal that their principle is different, and they think that they must have different opinion. So, they think loadshedding as a good factor, maybe. In my lifetime of 18 years, I have seen many alter in government, who gave the solution for the loadshedding problem, but as soon as the government changes; the solutions are given a hollow cry. They are not listened. It is not that private sectors didn’t try, as they have been trying to approach the government approval for producing electricity. As a result, no good response came. So, I think that the root cause is the unstable government, and it must be made stable such that we, the citizens, can enjoy the facility and prosper in the world.

Next, I will consider the lack of awareness of people. Nepal has great area in ratio to the population of the country, but if we see the density chart, maximum number is located in central development region. All the people from every part of country want to come to the capital and live a prosperous life, instead of making their own in their village. If there is no decentralization, there won’t be proper distribution of resources. Hence, power may lack in some places whereas exceed the satiation point in the other. When I asked my brother from far western development region Why don’t you go to your village and make earning from own life rather than being unemployed here, and creating strikes under party’s command?

“I want to enjoy life here. I won’t get electricity there. I won’t get a chance to use computer and any resources.” He said.

I said “If you say this, who will make your place? No nymph will come and say tathastu, blessing, to your place. You must develop”  

He remained silent, as it is the easiest answer we can ever give on earth. So, this attitude must be overcome with much enthusiastic approach to homeland. One should go to their place and try to utilize the resources, so they shouldn’t hover around cities looking for job. One should pulverize this attitude as of one of my brothers and move forward, which will lead to success and after all, lead to the end of this loadshedding problem giving new age for Nepal.

Nepal has really appreciative resources, but people are still facing loadshedding problem due to unstable government and lack of feeling towards their birth place. The government is never the same, and the changed government never supports the previous ideas of development. In addition to it, people also act naive, and pretends to be indifferent of the problems of loadshedding. So, we should act very meticulously to get rid of this problem and make our country free from loadshedding, leading towards the path of light. People must have a feeling for their birthplace and develop their place, instead of gathering around the city. They are just enjoying the small piece of development rather than giving a full fledge enjoyment in future. It must be solved, due to which I may be able to use my computer and search for information whenever I needed. This will overall start the new era for Nepal.

Love for Songs with South Asian flavor

Today also the discussion continued due to the music issue. Like always, I supported the south Asian music, particularly Indian music. I still tried to persuade that western songs can’t compete with the Indian songs, but he didn’t agree. He kept on babbling that westerners could do anything, as they were his favorites. I used to keep quiet, but today was different. It got on my nerves, and I replied “Can your Bonzovi actually take high pitch notes instead of just shouting in songs?” This, consequently, gave a silence in the room, which meant he agreed to my question. Western songs cannot be as powerful as the South Asian songs. Western music is good, but not better than Indian songs, as they flow in quiet easy pitch and with easy tuning. Unlike western music, I love South Asian music, as it has a wide range of pitch and much wider range of musical instrument.

I have a penchant for South Asian music due to its wide range of pitch. When my dad first suggested me to listen to Gazzal by Jagjit Singh in my early teen, I felt very bored, as my friends had told me that Gazzals were soporific. To quench my father’s thirst, I listened to it. It was completely magical. I can still remember the moment, since I had danced with the tune. The pitch of the song ranged from very low to highest pitch I had ever heard. I didn’t feel asleep either. Then, my exploration for South Asian flavor songs began. I started to search songs, downloaded it or asked some of my friends to download it. I slowly became acquainted Kailash Kher, Javed Ali, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, etc. They are the pioneer for my interest in these songs. They sing in so melodious voice, which ranges to very high pitch that makes one feel as if the voice entered deep inside your brain. It apparently gives me the refreshment that climbing a mountain would have given. So, I am inclined to this music.

Not only the pitch of songs, I also love the instruments used in producing the songs. South Asian songs are composed not only of good lyrics, but also bombarded with its great variety of musical instrument. In Nepalese culture, many instruments like sarangi, madal, murchunga, etc. are used which produce great tune, when flowed with the lyrics. Instrumental songs are the best to represent the variety of musical instruments. My familiarity to different instrument also has a story behind it. Few years back, I went to the concert by Kutumba which was said the most popular instrumental band in the world. Not only I danced with the pleasant sound, from different unknown instrument, but the ground itself danced. I felt like the earth was dancing with their melody. It felt like the sounds of instruments came from the instrument, penetrated the ground and directly jumped out of earth to my body. So, this is the specialty of South Asian songs, as it is not found in any other parts of world. This uniqueness has not only gained popularity in its boundary, but it has spread its flavor all over the world.

 My love for South Asian songs is immortal: Its beautiful instruments and great range in voice will never get me the world of boredom. I am now in relationship with this music, a perpetual platonic bond, which I can never think to break. I listen to Kailash Kher’s songs breadth taking songs whenever I want to refresh my mind. I also listen to the thrilling instrumental songs, and I wish to pursue some part of it. If anyone agrees its greatness, I feel that will be a right decision, but if anyone agrees to the western songs loving friend of mine, I will not challenge to take any high pitch competition anymore. It is because I know that everyone are unique and everyone has a unique taste for music.  

Why am I driven? Am I alone ??

It has already been 18 years, but I am still afraid. Today, the day looks beautiful, people hovering around, children playing and shouting. I wish I could go with them and jump until I get exhausted. The reason I am here is “I can’t”.No, I can’t go to enjoy my life because I have an examination to appear. It is still the nightmare for me. I always hate it, but I am compulsorily embracing it just to get a nice smile on the annoying faces. Well, what else can I do? I have a different interest, if I say it to my mother, I will be odd man out in the house and probably in the society. I want to live a life and have my own dreams, but why these examinations are slowing me?

“Sujil!! Are you still peeking in your computer?”, Mother reproached me.

“Mom! I am not a child to play games in computer. I am still working with my blog”, I said her angrily.

“That blog won’t feed you. I am worried if you will be just like the neighbour’s child. Please don’t say that you take drugs in some days”, Mother replied from kitchen.

“Mom! I am not a fool, and that bloody tome is not my passion!!”, I replied.

I was very furious at the moment, so I closed the pc and banged my desk with the bulky Nepali book. I don’t know what she thought of it, but I didn’t care anymore. I opened the book and began to prepare for my Nepali examination. Oh god! I can’t get this annoying characters printed in the book.

I closed my eyes and meditated, simply to drag my interest to come forward. I opened the book again: this time with more confidence. Though it had many lessons to read, I couldn’t read all of them because some of them were essays and some were boring dialogues. Even the stories were not interesting. Then, I decided to close the book and read the physics book, whose exam was in the previous day.  It didn’t matter to me even if I fail in Nepali because it was none of my business. I don’t wish to pursue career in nepali.

“Why? I still ask you why? Why is this compulsory to me to study Nepali? If I don’t study this bullshit, does it mean I don’t have love for country? I can guarantee I have more feeling for country than those artists making money out of Nepali writing.”

I nearly got a slap from my father. Phew! Thank god he missed it. Since then, I didn’t ask anything to anyone Why to study nepali?

Well, I still am afraid of these nepali examinations. I am not the only youth who wants this out of sight. There are many people who are driven by society rather than their passion. Men are still working till their skin torn off not for their dreams but the dream of society. I, along with many others, am living a dead man’s life. I still try to confront the challenges of this, but I follow my parents path, completely defeated.

Jotting down the dreams......

If there had been any competition for daydreaming, then I would have won a trophy for it. Yes, daydreaming is my hobby unlike the hobbies pursued by other toppers. I love daydreaming, and I think it is my greatest passion which I couldn’t deny in any moment. “Seminars, conferences, classes and examinations” these are the favorite spots for my daydreaming, as it was my part-time job when I am bored. But, they are all temporary. They come at a time, ruin my so called precious lectures and examinations, and then vanish in the point of eternity. In other words, I don’t remember any of my dreams to mention in this essay. I don’t even know what this essay will contain. Maybe it is also a part of my daydreaming. I am pretty sure that it will contain the dreams that I will delve into, for hours allocated for this essay.

Have I mentioned about multitasking function of my mind? Well, I am applying it for my essay to complete.

Oh My God! How can there be squirrels in my house? I have never seen them before. Wait a second! Its not a squirrel. It’s Bill Gates. How come he know I was dreaming?

“Hi Sujil, don’t be annoyed or confused. I have just come here to offer you job in my company.” He says.

“How did I get selected? I didn’t apply.”

“Well, sorry for being sardonic. You have actually been called by the Dean of Princeton University for interview.” He says.

I am in a trouble now. I don’t even know the name of the dean. How can he take my interview? How did he know me?

Now where on earth is Bill Gates? Oh! It’s a dream actually. Why is this ground so soft, and green too?

What is on that board there? Princeton University?? :o

What is Nirja doing over here? I think she said me that she was going to Banglore. “Hey Niru, timi kasari eta?”

“Hello?? Who are you talking to?”

To my astonishment, she doesn’t know me. She is my best friend but how can she forget me?

Now, I am totally confused, as people are passing by me with a disappointed look. I am looking for Nirja. Where has she gone now?

(annoying sound comes)

What is that sound? Why is it coming periodically?

I am shaking, and my hands are too without any effort. The scenes around me are going dim. Now, I realize that I am still in my room, with a notebook, typing my dream actually, and the sound was the alarm of notebook saying “Battery 7%! Turn off or plug in the charger”. Now, I am reviewing my essay. This has a sense on what I dream. This daydreaming sounds so magical. I was actually enjoying the fruit of Princeton staying on my bed. This is interesting for me.

Today, I have done it: A successful attempt to jot down the dream. I have given a digital form to my passion. It feels truly magical and contentment, as I have completed my hobby. This is not just a hobby that I have noted down, but also a reminiscence of the day, that I may think of, in my elderly.